A Turkey and a Tear Jerker

I'm really bummed I'm just now getting around to posting this. Work has been pretty crazy lately and I've just added yet another responsibility on top of all the other shit I have going on (more on that later). So I apologize, yet again, for being a really shitty blogger. But life happens. Anyways.

This year my family celebrated Thanksgiving a bit early due to busy schedules on the actual holiday. Related: does this mean we can put up our Christmas tree early too? My mom drove up for the weekend and we got to spend quality time playing euchre (it's a Michigan thing), drinking wine and stuffing ourselves with a delicious Thanksgiving feast. Em refused to touch her plate which just meant more for all of us. What a sucker. This girl doesn't even know what she's missing out on. I could probably eat an entire bag of stovetop stuffing by myself and wash it down with a couple spoonfuls of mashed potatoes. Sound like I'm talking from experience? You'll never know...

Alright, I know everyone does this and it's probably plastered all over your Facebook news feed right now but....I want to "give thanks." I too find myself getting annoyed reading posts about how thankful you are for your emotionally abusive boyfriend and shitty job but really, is hearing people being thankful such a bad thing? No, it's not. I'm just an extremely negative person. So here we go, if you haven't clicked "back" in your browser already...

If you know me well, you know that my family has quite. the. story. Seriously. It could be a Lifetime movie (I won't get into the specifics now, I'll save that for a slow news day). Yet, despite all of the really horrible things I've seen and felt and heard, my family is everything.

I have a sister that is truly more like a best friend who I can yell at on occasion and then borrow clothes from. We used to not get along at all. We're totally different. She's bossy and I'm overly emotional. She needs a plan and I'd rather wing it. Did I mention the bossy part? She's my cheerleader and a lot of the times my caretaker (because she's a way better cook than I am). She's always 100% honest with me and tells me exactly what I need to hear, even when I really effing don't want to hear it (i.e. "I don't like your hair blonde;" "Do you really need that shirt or do you just want that shirt;" "Stop dating assholes").

My mother is literally a saint. This woman has been through the fire and then five more fires after that. I don't know how she did it. I really don't know how she made it. She's the strongest person I know. The things she's had to live through are literally out of a nightmare and she is still the most selfless person I know. She will do anything for you, regardless of what it costs. All of those years that I was (yes, past tense) a total brat, she put up with me and surprisingly didn't kick me out of the house. Looking back, I would have kicked myself out for some of the things I did and said. I did not make her life any easier. Yet she's still here, taking my calls when I have the flu or just want to complain. I couldn't have been blessed with a better mother.

My father is probably the funniest man alive. We once drove through a Starbucks at night halfway through a 20 hour road trip and he ordered a "vagina macchiato." Alright, that is probably sexual harassment now that I think about it but it was the funniest thing I had ever heard at the time. I have always been a "daddy's girl." I remember watching him at his work bench doing whatever dads do at work benches and being in awe of him. He knew how to do everything. There wasn't anything he couldn't accomplish. He was my superhero and he still continues to amaze me.

We're not perfect. We've been the talk of the town. But we could have had it a lot worse. And I'm thankful that I get to say that I have a sister, mother and father. Not everyone gets to do that. I love you guys and I'm so glad that it was you.

Friday Favorites

I have been told that I'm a picky eater. Which I wholeheartedly disagree with. I mean, I eat more than chicken nuggets and pizza alright! There are two main areas that I have a problem with:

1) meat 

2) white creamy condiments and the like

Let me get into the details here. I am not a vegetarian. I LOVE a good bacon cheeseburger. I just have an extremely difficult time preparing meat. So, as long as it's cooked for me and as long as the texture of the meat doesn't make me want to gag, I'll eat it. 

The condiments thing is where it really starts to get complicated. Ranch, sour cream, mayonnaise, yogurt (sometimes there is an exception) are totally off limits and I am seriously sick just thinking about it. Basically anything thick and creamy makes me want to vom (go ahead all of you perverts, laugh - I've heard it before). The smell of cold ketchup that has been sitting out (think county fairs, baseball games, etc.) is also disgusting. There are caveats here and there but this is pretty much it. 

Alright, so that's not that picky...right?  Anyways. I said alllllllll of that to say this: I have some awesome recipes for anyone who has found themselves in a similar boat. Specifically the meat one. Ever heard of Meatless Monday? I do it about 6 days a week. It's caused me to get a bit more creative when it comes to protein intake. So for this week's Friday Favorites, I'm sharing recipes that are typically on my weekly roster.

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Asparagus & Arborio Rice

Arbor-what? Yeah. I had never heard of it either. Apparently it's the rice used to make risotto. Who knew? I seriously make this like once a week. This is a VERY simple recipe. In fact, I don't even use all of the ingredients it calls for because I don't like shallots and I don't waste my wine by cooking with it. 

Tomato & Mozzarella Salad

This is by far one of my fav salads. I just ate it for dinner every night last week. Trader Joe's make this salad prepackaged but it comes mixed with black olives and green onions (gag). So I started making it on my own. 

Ingredients
Your favorite greens (I use spring mix with spinach or kale)
Balsamic Vinaigrette

Grape, cherry, or heirloom tomatoes

Mozzarella (I just buy the sticks and open a package when I need it)

Raw Pignolias (pine nuts) 

Quinoa Enchilada Casserole

I love Mexican food SO much. Seriously, give me a burrito and a margarita and I will instantly perk up. Or just a margarita. Pitcher. I digress. So when I'm craving Mexican and don't have someone around to prepare the meat for me, I make this recipe. I don't usually make it with the corn because I don't need any extra starches in my diet but it's delicious either way. 

Coconut & Macadmia Crusted Mahi Mahi

Alright, so you thought you could go meatless but you can't. Try this mahi mahi recipe. Fish is like the only "meat" (I'm staying out of the "fish is a meat" argument) I can cook that doesn't make me want to lose my lunch. This recipe calls for quite a few ingredients that I don't typically have sitting around but I promise you it's totally worth it to go pick them up. This recipe is in Tone it Up's 8 Week Bikini Program. Yeah, remember when I did that? Ugh. The memory is painful. Anyways, make this when it's 20 degrees outside and you are trying to remember why you thought you were ready for summer to be over. It'll take you back to a better place.

1 cup of roasted & crushed macadamia nuts

2 tbs of coconut flour 

2 Tbs of coconut shavings, 

2 Tbs of coconut oil - melted

2 Tbs of olive oil

4 (6 oz) of fresh mahi mahi fillets

2 tbs coconut milk

salt & pepper

1 Tbs parsley

1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

2. In a medium bowl, stir together the crushed macadamia nuts, parsley, coconut flour, shavings and coconut oil. 

3. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil and brush it with olive oil. Place the fish on top and season it with salt & pepper on both sides. 

4. Bake it for about 5 minutes. Take it out of the oven and brush it with coconut milk, then dip each fillet into the nut & flour mixture, pressing it down to ensure it adheres. 

5. Return fish to the oven and bake 5-10 minutes or until golden brown.

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Happy Friday everyone! You should definitely try one of these recipes this weekend and let me know how you liked it!

It's Nothing But a Bunch of Hocus Pocus!

You guys. I love Halloween. More than any other holiday. And this year did not disappoint. I know you're all dying to know (probably not) what I was for Halloween. My brother-in-law says I went as myself but I was actually dressed up as a Basic Bitch. Yoga pants, dress shirt, Uggs, Northface fleece, and of course I carried around a Starbucks cup. Unfortunately, I did not get a picture of this awesome costume because I was having way too much fun with friends and family. Worst blogger ever. Sorry! I did however take lots of pictures of everyone else!

I went over to my sister's place to participate in some family Halloween festivities. My doggy nephew, Gus, is a Halloween pup. He was actually born on my favorite holiday. Tell me that isn't adorable! So not only did we get to celebrate Halloween, we also got to celebrate Gus's 3rd birthday (21 in human years). This pup is legal now. I made him a birthday cake to celebrate this special milestone!



We Amanda carved a pumpkin and got really really serious about it. For real though, I guess it takes one adult, one toddler and a golden retriever to do this right. Look how intense they are. It actually turned out pretty nice, surprisingly. Another thing I didn't get a picture of. #worstbloggerever

Then this happened. So on the rare occasion that I actually do my hair, I like to curl and set it (seen here). So when we decided to take a family walk around the neighborhood (a.k.a. start trick-or-treating early) I threw on a robe so it looked like I was in costume and not just a psycho walking around the neighborhood in curlers. Totally worked. Also, check out Em's furrowed brow. She was not feelin' the selfie with auntie. And Gus desperately wanted to be included, per usual.

I know I'm totally biased but isn't she just the cutest little witch? This poor thing was not feeling well at all but she was a total trooper and stuck it out til the end. We managed to hit up 5 houses before totally losing our shit and calling it a night. Next year, Em. I'm coming for your candy.

So after I hung out with mi familia, I went to Nightmare on M Street. It's a huge bar crawl full of cheap booze and girls in fishnets. Best moment: dancing with a stranger to a live band and totally clearing the dance floor. I kid you not, people were recording us. Whether that's because we were so amazing or so awful, I will never know. I'm probably a Youtube sensation right now, nbd.

Also, I would have loved to do a Halloween home tour but unfortunately I have neither the funds nor the square footage to REALLY decorate for this holiday. I basically just put out a fake pumpkin and lit a cider and doughnut scented candle. Bummer. Maybe when Navient Loans quits hitting me up for my cash?

I hope you all had a safe and fun Halloween with friends and family!

Friday Favorites

My bad for not announcing this sooner but Kate Spade is having a Surprise Sale right now. If you know what's good for you, you'll head over there NOW and spend some cash to save some cash (does that even make sense? YES!) For this week's Friday Favorites, I've rounded up my favorite Kate Spade goodies on sale now. Better hurry, this sale ends at midnight! Happy treating!

1. Call to Action #manipedi Terry  2. Beautiful Type Ampersand Spiral Notebook 3. Wellesley Neda Light Pink Wallet 4. Kennedy Park Honey Baby Bag 5. Newburry Lane Cassie Black Bag 6. Mikas Pond Lacey Hot Pink Wallet

Consider this my Christmas Wish List (I'll regift the baby bag unless...). What are you waiting for? #treatyoself  Happy Friday everyone! I can't wait to see all of your Halloween festivities! Check back next week for a recap of ours!

Happy Halloween!

My Life is a Series of These Moments

Last week I was waiting at the bus stop when I reached behind me to smooth out my dress. The blood basically drained out of my face as I felt my dress way higher than it's supposed to be. Like above my ass. Luckily, I was wearing both a black dress and super thick black tights so I'm really hoping nobody saw my goodies. Probably wishful thinking. So I sat down on a bench to wait where I would be safe from any further embarrassing scenarios.

Wrongo.

This old man next to me (who bless his soul, probably has dementia) says to me, "Excuse me," which I first pretended to not hear. He tries again so I acknowledge him. Then he throws at me "You have a big hook nose." Uhm...WHAT?! Thanks for pointing out my most hated feature dude! Wanna throw me some cash for a nose job? So instead I reply, "I sure do." Smile, Look away. Try to look busy. He's not done though. "I have one too but, *looks at me remorsefully* yours is worse."

Eff me, right? I swear this shit only happens to me.

My most embarrassing moment though - senior year of college. One day I wore thigh highs (without garters) to my internship and by the end of the day, they had gotten so loose that they were falling down my legs as I was walking down the hall. I tried to get to the bathroom by walking with my thighs clenched together to prevent them from falling any further. No use. They were goners. So I stopped and leaned against the wall trying to look like I was making a casual phone call to my best friend. I was looking for advice and moral support and all she was doing was laughing so hard she was crying. I couldn't bend down and lift up my skirt to pull them up without someone seeing me. I couldn't walk to a private place because they would be around my ankles by the time I got there. I was stuck. And mortified. My best friend stayed on the phone with me until the halls had cleared and I could pull them up without being seen. And laughed the entire time.

That was five years ago and I still blush thinking about it. This is my life though. Just going from one embarrassing moment to the next. Somebody, anybody - tell me something worse.