Good Grief

If I've learned one thing as an adult it's that really shitty things can happen to people who don't deserve it. Cancer. Divorce. Rape. I've known too many people whose routine lives have betrayed them. They lifted their head off of their pillow one morning and laid it back down that very night a completely different person. It can happen in an instant and we're never prepared for it. We're never prepared for our lives to come to a grinding halt and make us question everything around us.

When that happens - when life gives you whiplash - I want you to remember something.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking about it. And talking about it. And thinking and talking about it again. And again. And again. There's nothing wrong with crying in the shower at the end of a really shitty day, letting the tears go down the drain. Moving on doesn't mean pretending it never happened. It doesn't mean never letting it impact you.

The truth is, it's now a part of you. It's something you have to live with. Maybe it's still an open wound. Maybe it's now a scar. Eventually you're going to go all day without thinking about it. But then you'll come home, shed the clothes, shed the makeup and there it is underneath it all -  a permanent reminder of the pain you once felt. The pain you're still feeling now. I want you to know that it's okay to feel that pain.

Don't let anyone make you feel like you've worn out that conversation. That you should be "over it" by now. Or that it's no longer relevant. Don't let anyone tell you that what you went through isn't significant. That you aren't allowed to hurt. You are owed that. You deserve that. You deserve to grieve.