My Body, Your Body

If you didn't instantly start singing Pretty Ricky's 2005 legendary hit upon reading that title, you are lying.

It's ironic that I'm writing about body image because as I type this I'm drinking kombucha and munching on celery sticks. Which in and of itself isn't all that bad except that this is all I've eaten so far today (2:10 PM over here). So it turns out this is still something I'm working on. How timely.

I've struggled with body image for a very long time. I can't tell you how many diets I've been on and exercise programs I've started and only a couple times completed (you can read about one of them here and here). My weight has yo-yo'd all of my life, from 115 (at a time when I was struggling the most with depression and anxiety) all the way to 145 (when I had a constant inner monologue of treat yo self).

It's a work in progress, hence why it's one of my 30 Before 30 goals.

There are parts of my body that I hate (my arms) but also parts that I love (my butt) and even parts that I'm like yeah, okay whatever (hooray for small boobs!). Let's be real, I'm probably never ever going to love my big arms. But I have started to appreciate them. They help me do countless Chaturangas during an hour of yoga in a 90 degree room. I love that I'm one of the few females in my pilates and yoga classes to choose full plank push-ups. So although my arms are not as petite as I'd like them to be, they do a hella good job of getting me through a 6am yoga sesh.

Challenge: pick something you dislike (or even hate) about your body and instead of trying to to use the Snapchat beauty filter or just ignore its existence altogether, find a way to appreciate that part of you.

And if you can't do this for you, do it for the little girls who call you mommy, gramma, or auntie. We learn to hate our bodies from society so let's try to change the conversation.

If You're Happy and You Know It

Keep it to yourself. Just kidding. Kind of.

I recently had a friend (thanks, David) challenge me to set some pre-30 goals for myself. I was a little offended when he handed me the piece of paper with headers like "Physical Goals" and "Career Goals." Uhmmm I have the body of a goddess and I lean all the way in. I don't need goals. And then I actually thought about it.

I had realized long before this that I was unhappy. In my personal life. In my career. With my body. In fact, for at least the last year I had been asking myself, "What the eff do I want?"

And I wasn't able to come up with an answer, in large part, because I was terrified of the unknown.

What happens when I admit that my career isn't where I thought it would be? What happens when I admit that I thought I'd be married by now (gross)? What happens when I admit that I hate my body?

I was afraid of the truth and how that would affect my life. If I acknowledged that I was this incredibly unhappy I would also have to acknowledge that a change has to take place. And change is scary.

So I'm not happy and I'm not clapping my hands. But in the spirit of my midyear resolution of trying to be more positive, there is a silver lining here. Because I'm actually going to do something about it.

I have many goals that I want to accomplish by the time I'm 30 and I have listed them all below (more so for my own accountability than your approval) but I wanted to talk about three of them that I think will resonate with a lot of you. So over the course of the next few weeks, I'm going to write about these three areas - what they are, how I'm going to accomplish them, and ways for you to accomplish similar goals.

I hope I challenge you to be a better version of yourself regardless of whether you're 27 or 72. I hope I challenge you to stop and take stock of where you are at in your life, wherever that may be. Life gives us endless opportunities to reinvent ourselves, I hope you jump at them.

30 Before 30

Stop judging my writing style (and accept the genre I'm most clearly cut out for)

Write a novel (AKA, actually finish one that I start)

Continue blogging at least twice a week

Obtain a management position

Cut out all dairy from my diet

Drink at least the daily recommended amount of water (I am so bad at this)

Drink less coffee

Regularly work out five days a week

Learn how to play tennis (I'm serious)

Be able to do the middle splits (Yup, serious about this one too)

Run a full marathon

Attend regularly scheduled check ups with a therapist

Wear more sunscreen

Visit Europe

Visit Asia

Vacation on the west coast

Move to NYC (eek!)

Pay off all debt (including student loans)

Acquire $10k in savings (which I should totally already have but Crate & Barrel exists soooo)

Acquire $5k in an emergency fund

Triple what's currently in my retirement account

Move into a one bedroom apartment

Go skydiving

Learn a second language (this one might be lofty)

Learn how to change a tire

Learn how to sew 

Go on one date a month

Go on second dates

Stop ghosting on guys and actually tell them why I'm not interested

Stop taking it personally when someone isn't interested in me