Thoughts I Have While Running

I've been having fun with these "stream of consciousness" posts I've been doing lately. I thought I'd do one on running because I know I can't be the only one here! Currently on week 3 of my half marathon training plan...

Okay. It's only 6 miles. Sixty minutes. That's like only 17 songs on Bieber's new album. I can run for 17 songs. I wonder what I look like running. This wedgie is seriously cutting off the circulation to my left ass cheek. Oh my god I need that puppy in my life. How has it only been .5 miles? Ohhh, love this song. Seriously, I wonder if I look like Phoebe running. Slow song. Skip. Tourists, I will run into you if you don't share the effing sidewalk. LEFT! How do people talk and run? I can barely think and run. PUPPY! If I slow down maybe I can hit that red light and catch my breath. Oh, he's cute. Heyyyy. Why are my calves on fire? Why are my quads on fire? Shin splints. Forgot about those. What a bitch. I could really go for a Mickey D's fry right about now. What should I make for dinner? I hate running. Hate. Hate. Hate. Oh goody, only 5 more miles to go.

I know you feel me. You know those people that say, "once you do it, you'll feel better." I want to punch those people between the eyes. I never feel good after! And on that note, good luck with your work outs today! 

Friday Favorites

So in case you didn't pick it up from my 2015: Year in Review post, I quit my job at Crate & Barrel. I basically have been burning the candle at both ends between the two jobs and school plus other responsibilities. Honestly, I think that's why I've been getting sick so much. Too much stress. I have plans to go back eventually because I love my C&B discount - which saved me $$$ six hundy $$$ on my sofa (it gets delivered next month! EEK!). So this week's Friday Favorites post is basically an ode to Crate. They just came out with a TON of new products for the new year and I have so many favorites that I wish I could turn this post into a series - one for every room of the house. Most of my favorites are for the kitchen which sucks because I don't need any of this. But maybe you do! Enjoy!

1. French Kitchen Bakers Rack // 2. Behmor Connected 8 Cup Coffee Maker // 3. Lure Patina Bronze Chandelier // 4. Kitchen Conversion Cutting Board // 5. Coffee and Tea Canister // 6. Woven David Diskin Print

I dream of a day where I have a kitchen large enough to warrant hanging a $1,400 chandelier. Until then, I'll stare longingly at Crate's website. I'm really feeling the black and white contrast for kitchens. It's very clean. Also, I have an aversion to buying prints and not originals, but isn't that thing gorgeous? And you guys, that coffee maker is "connected", i.e., you can turn it on via an app from the comfort of your warm bed. Like I always say, I'm into it if it means I don't have to put pants on. Check out the rest of their new products and try not to fill your cart with all of these goodies. Someone please let me decorate your house with your money! Happy Friday lovelies!

Thoughts on Possibly Dying

Wake up in the middle of the night and wonder what you could have done to deserve your throat feeling like the gates of Mordor.

Embrace the risk of choking on a cough drop while you sleep because sweet relief is on the other side of that wrapped paper.

Forget how many times you self-medicated with Robitussin PM in the middle of the night because you're delirious from all of the Robitussin PM you self-medicated with.

Sweet Jesus, where is all this shit coming from?!?!

Upon waking up from a restless night's slumber, guzzle the entire half gallon of organic orange juice in your fridge in hopes that Vitamin C is your cure.

Wonder why your neighbors aren't concerned about the coughing and gagging noises coming from your apartment.

Become so desperate for compassion that you are willing to accept it from your cat who is sometimes an asshole. Except he doesn't want anything to do with me.

Wonder how many episodes of 48 Hours is acceptable to watch during the day. Also wonder if it is acceptable to not put pants on. 

Make soup with whatever is in your fridge that isn't expired. In my case, green beans, corn, cabbage, carrots, potatoes and peas.

Somebody please tell me why my immune system is the absolute worst. I will take all of the advice I can get right now. I hope your first Monday of 2016 was better than mine!

2015: Year in Review

Left one job. Got a new job. Got a second job. Celebrated my 26th birthday. Contemplated moving to Florida. Contemplated moving to California. Contemplated moving anywhere warmer than here. Went on vacation to Florida, South Carolina and Michigan. Contemplated moving to Michigan. Celebrated my niece's 1st birthday. Enrolled in school. Paid for school. Ouch. Got a 3.75 GPA. Holla! Broke up with my boyfriend. Made up with my best friend. Found out my best friend is pregnant. Found out my best friend is engaged. Went on a lot of dates. Started a blog. Got a little closer to finishing my novel. Became a fan of Manhattans. Rode a segway for the first time. Decided to keep my hair natural. Bought a really expensive computer. Bought an even more expensive sofa. Cried a lot by myself. Laughed way more by myself. Started two workout programs. Finished none. Signed up for a half marathon (yesterday). Quit my second job. Contemplated getting a degree in computer science. Stopped contemplating it when I realized I needed to pass a calculus class. Contemplated getting an MFA. Got the stomach flu for the first time. Gained a bunch of good friends. Ditched a bunch of shitty ones.

10 Random Christmas Thoughts

1. Does anyone actually like Mariah Carey's Christmas album or do we as a community just continually play her songs because we feel bad for her? 
2. The line say, what's in this drink? from "Baby, It's Cold Outside" makes me really uncomfortable.
3. Christmas would be so much better if Santa was actually real.
4. I know absolutely nothing about Hanukkah and Kwanzaa. 
5. Can anyone give me a legitimate reason for why the Christmas tree needs to come down? Is there a rule book I'm not aware of?
6. I just found out two years ago that the Santa in "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause" is the dad. Turns out mom isn't a ho ho ho. 
7. I've eaten so much cookie dough and haven't yet shown any symptoms of salmonella poisoning. #justamyth
8. Related: I will be one of the many fatties joining a gym come January 1. 
9. Why is no one else concerned that Home Alone traumatized Macaulay Culkin so much that he now looks like this?
10. I know that as a citizen of the world, I should be extremely concerned about global warming but I'm not gonna lie, I don't hate this 70 degree weather.

Merry Christmas Eve! I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe holiday with family and friends!