It's Nothing But a Bunch of Hocus Pocus!

You guys. I love Halloween. More than any other holiday. And this year did not disappoint. I know you're all dying to know (probably not) what I was for Halloween. My brother-in-law says I went as myself but I was actually dressed up as a Basic Bitch. Yoga pants, dress shirt, Uggs, Northface fleece, and of course I carried around a Starbucks cup. Unfortunately, I did not get a picture of this awesome costume because I was having way too much fun with friends and family. Worst blogger ever. Sorry! I did however take lots of pictures of everyone else!

I went over to my sister's place to participate in some family Halloween festivities. My doggy nephew, Gus, is a Halloween pup. He was actually born on my favorite holiday. Tell me that isn't adorable! So not only did we get to celebrate Halloween, we also got to celebrate Gus's 3rd birthday (21 in human years). This pup is legal now. I made him a birthday cake to celebrate this special milestone!



We Amanda carved a pumpkin and got really really serious about it. For real though, I guess it takes one adult, one toddler and a golden retriever to do this right. Look how intense they are. It actually turned out pretty nice, surprisingly. Another thing I didn't get a picture of. #worstbloggerever

Then this happened. So on the rare occasion that I actually do my hair, I like to curl and set it (seen here). So when we decided to take a family walk around the neighborhood (a.k.a. start trick-or-treating early) I threw on a robe so it looked like I was in costume and not just a psycho walking around the neighborhood in curlers. Totally worked. Also, check out Em's furrowed brow. She was not feelin' the selfie with auntie. And Gus desperately wanted to be included, per usual.

I know I'm totally biased but isn't she just the cutest little witch? This poor thing was not feeling well at all but she was a total trooper and stuck it out til the end. We managed to hit up 5 houses before totally losing our shit and calling it a night. Next year, Em. I'm coming for your candy.

So after I hung out with mi familia, I went to Nightmare on M Street. It's a huge bar crawl full of cheap booze and girls in fishnets. Best moment: dancing with a stranger to a live band and totally clearing the dance floor. I kid you not, people were recording us. Whether that's because we were so amazing or so awful, I will never know. I'm probably a Youtube sensation right now, nbd.

Also, I would have loved to do a Halloween home tour but unfortunately I have neither the funds nor the square footage to REALLY decorate for this holiday. I basically just put out a fake pumpkin and lit a cider and doughnut scented candle. Bummer. Maybe when Navient Loans quits hitting me up for my cash?

I hope you all had a safe and fun Halloween with friends and family!

Friday Favorites

My bad for not announcing this sooner but Kate Spade is having a Surprise Sale right now. If you know what's good for you, you'll head over there NOW and spend some cash to save some cash (does that even make sense? YES!) For this week's Friday Favorites, I've rounded up my favorite Kate Spade goodies on sale now. Better hurry, this sale ends at midnight! Happy treating!

1. Call to Action #manipedi Terry  2. Beautiful Type Ampersand Spiral Notebook 3. Wellesley Neda Light Pink Wallet 4. Kennedy Park Honey Baby Bag 5. Newburry Lane Cassie Black Bag 6. Mikas Pond Lacey Hot Pink Wallet

Consider this my Christmas Wish List (I'll regift the baby bag unless...). What are you waiting for? #treatyoself  Happy Friday everyone! I can't wait to see all of your Halloween festivities! Check back next week for a recap of ours!

Happy Halloween!

My Life is a Series of These Moments

Last week I was waiting at the bus stop when I reached behind me to smooth out my dress. The blood basically drained out of my face as I felt my dress way higher than it's supposed to be. Like above my ass. Luckily, I was wearing both a black dress and super thick black tights so I'm really hoping nobody saw my goodies. Probably wishful thinking. So I sat down on a bench to wait where I would be safe from any further embarrassing scenarios.

Wrongo.

This old man next to me (who bless his soul, probably has dementia) says to me, "Excuse me," which I first pretended to not hear. He tries again so I acknowledge him. Then he throws at me "You have a big hook nose." Uhm...WHAT?! Thanks for pointing out my most hated feature dude! Wanna throw me some cash for a nose job? So instead I reply, "I sure do." Smile, Look away. Try to look busy. He's not done though. "I have one too but, *looks at me remorsefully* yours is worse."

Eff me, right? I swear this shit only happens to me.

My most embarrassing moment though - senior year of college. One day I wore thigh highs (without garters) to my internship and by the end of the day, they had gotten so loose that they were falling down my legs as I was walking down the hall. I tried to get to the bathroom by walking with my thighs clenched together to prevent them from falling any further. No use. They were goners. So I stopped and leaned against the wall trying to look like I was making a casual phone call to my best friend. I was looking for advice and moral support and all she was doing was laughing so hard she was crying. I couldn't bend down and lift up my skirt to pull them up without someone seeing me. I couldn't walk to a private place because they would be around my ankles by the time I got there. I was stuck. And mortified. My best friend stayed on the phone with me until the halls had cleared and I could pull them up without being seen. And laughed the entire time.

That was five years ago and I still blush thinking about it. This is my life though. Just going from one embarrassing moment to the next. Somebody, anybody - tell me something worse.

Friday Favorites

I feel like every female 18-30 dresses like a sloo for Halloween. Not judging. Totally been there, done that. But it gets so old and so boring. So for this week's Friday Favorites, I'm providing you with some of my favorite relevant and creative costume choices.

The "Hillary texts" memes were probably the greatest thing to happen to the internet. And although I fully plan on being her next year, I have no problem sharing with you the greatness of this DIY costume. I love Hillary. She is everything.

What you'll need:

1) Blazer

2) Hideous brooch (similar in your mother's jewelry box)

3) Hideous cheap necklace (similar in your little sister's jewelry box)

4) Sunglasses

5) Cellphone (similar in your hand)

6) A severe look of disdain. (Already got it!)

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You guys, it's handled. And hey Shonda, just so we're all clear, the front lawn of the White House does not look like that. I've also not once seen Barack hanging out on his balcony. Whatever. This costume makes me not want to even go out for Halloween. I'd just stay home with my bad ass self. And probably spill red wine all over my white clothing because I'm just barely an adult.

What you'll need:

1) Heaping bowl of popcorn

2) Crate & Barrel Camille wine glass

3) WINE

3) White sweater

4) White pants 

5) A super long, emotional, run-on sentence that is memorized which you should recite loudly and possibly even with tears.

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Amy Schumer is my spirit animal. I am so effing pissed I don't know her in real life because we would be best friends. I just really feel like it's the right thing - dress up as her character on Trainwreck. If you have not seen this movie yet, put your kid or your job on hold and do it now.

What you'll need:

1) Yellow dress

2) Grey nail polish

3) Brown paper bag 

3) BOOZE

5) A void where your moral compass is supposed to be. 

I hope you all are being creative this year. When all else fails, just drink some alcohol in your pajamas while binging on candy. It's basically what I do every day! Let me know what you're dressing up as!

Fall Festival Fun

This past weekend we took Em to Cox Farms Fall Festival. Best $17 dollars I ever spent. If you live in the area and you're desperate for child entertainment, let your kid run amok in this place. We ended up staying longer than planned because there was just so much to do. Em was a sponge taking it all in. Not going to lie, I was just as entertained as she was. It was absolutely freezing unless you were standing directly in the sun with no wind blowing but we still had a blast. What a fun place! See for yourself!

Em loved seeing all of the fall and Halloween themed objects that she's been reading about in her books. Including the farm animals! She is basically a goat whisperer. Seriously. How adorable is that? She kept calling them "Gush." Golden retriever. Billy goat. Same thing.

We also found out that llamas are fucking weird. Just look at this thing. It will never grow out of it's awkward phase. Ever. Yikes.

Not pictured is the 20 minute hayride that was absolutely. adorable. It was so interactive. All the kids and adults loved it! We also tried a 150 ft. slide and HATED IT. 

And then we found out that Em is almost half as tall as I am which means that I am abnormally short. We also contemplated the existence of apples and why they taste so good even after dropping them 2349834934 times in the dirt.

We finished off the day by stopping at Dogfish Head Brewery for some much needed libations. I taught Em the word "booze" and I hope it's only a matter of months before I can get her to start bringing me beers.

Also, it's been a rough couple of days for me. I've been fighting pharyngitis for about a week now and losing. Being sick is the absolute worst. I feel like a walking germ. One can only ingest so many cough drops and chicken noodle soup. To all of you back home in the Mitten who were able to enjoy yourselves at Spicer's Orchards, I'm totally jelly!